Yesterday: 8:50 AM
me: i’m doing a hash run with ben tonight… kinda scared lol
Shanna: hash run
like smoking?
me: lol noooo
Shanna: picking it up
Shanna: bahahahah
me: think of it as- the kickball of running…. well…adventure running and then a bit of boozing
Shanna: wait
so you aren’t smoking
me: noooooo lol
Shanna: ohh it’s a run
one of those scavenger type ones
me: yea, exactly
Shanna: ahhhh
very cool
is flavia doing it?
me: i dunnooo.. haha ben does it.. he told me she did it once
Shanna: does he smoke? for it
me: lol HASHING HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SMOKING lol
That’s right… Hashing has nothing to do with smoking…However, in case you are not familiar with hashing… it is a type of social/adventure running. A scavenger hunt in which a group meets at a given spot and follows a trail. The trail can range anywhere from 2-6 miles. Markers based out of flour (yes, like flour you bake with) which will lead or mislead you to beer. Some beer drinking possibly during/after.
Sounds like my thing right? Running… beer… meeting new people. Sure, whyyyyy not!
I have heard of and witnessed it a bunch of times. Once coming back from a kickball my team was almost trampled by these fellow hashers. It was definitely intimidating- I thought I could never do that sprint for beer. I arrive at the Woodley Arms/Adams Morgan metro stop around 6:30pm. I immediately see a white arrow pointing straight ahead… Followed by another white arrow. I look ahead crossing the intersection of Calvert and Conn Ave and jackpot: people dressed in running gear.
I don’t spot Ben but head over anyways like a big girl and introduce myself to the one chick that is there, Rose.
Rose has hashed three time and introduces me to Rob, Will, and other first timers (or virgins as they call it) Sarah and Tiffany. Rose shows me the shady white van where we can drop off all our bags and coats and will meet us for beer at our first stop.
I spot Megan, a friend of friends who I know. Small world she is one of the hares that runs the hashes.
A guy about my age spots me eyeing his hydration belt. I think ” damn, this is serious I don’t have water. What have I gotten my self into.”
“Hi I’m JustSteve… you are?” (Great, I think… he probably thinks I’m checking him out. Sidenote- He was very fit though.)
I gave him the ‘come again‘ look and shake his hand, “Hi, I’m Colleen.”
“JustColleen?” he responds.
“Ugh yea? This is my first time here.”
“Awesome Justcolleen. Who brought you here?”
“My friend Ben”… I pause, nervous because Ben still wasn’t there but I knew he would be there soon. I regain consciousness, ” Ben… he’s Australian.”
“JustBen…Ohhh yeah!!, I know him.”
“Of course, everyone knows the cool Aussie. What is with this Just–business?”
JustSteve enlightens me stating after about 8-10+ hash runs you then are honored with a hash name.
“Can I offer you a beverage”, he gestures to his hydration belt. “I have whiskey, vodka, rum?”
Hah, I can’t believe I’ve mistaken Vodka for water.
“Whiskey”, I answer without even blinking. Who am I? I keep saying this silently to myself…
“Nice choice!”, he exclaims.
I squirt a drip in my mouth and give a little shimmy shake. It warmed me up a little.
He tells this is the first time he has used the hydration belt-counterproductive I thought. It didn’t arrive in time for his
marathon.
“What marrath… and with that Ben shows up.
Pardon…JustBen shows up. He arrives pumped and ready to go. We are chatting and catching on the holidays, life, and then…JustSteve catches me not paying attention and publicly calls me out. “JustColleen people want to know you are a virgin sooooo you better go around and tell them”, he smirks.
I smile and continue my conversation with Ben and am interrupted again.
“VIRGINS OVER HERE“, a loud voice exclaims.
#JustSteve waves me goodbye while the virgins gather to learn the trail mark legend and introduce themselves to the group.
It would be easier to explain the trail markers if I had gotten pictures of them… but I didn’t want to look like a complete tool…getting pictures for my blog! I’m already loser virgin.
PLEASE STATE YOUR NAME AND WHO MADE YOU CUM HERE…yes, that is not a typo…this group prides themselves on being sophomoric and silly. I thought kickball was a meat market… hashers brought a whole new level to the “let’s pretend we are athletic, drink , and then get laid” group.” Actually, you do have to be some what athletic for this.. kickball not so much.
I’M JUSTCOLLEEN AND JUSTBEN MADE ME CAM… I yell then cringe with a weak smile.
The group chants and sings some silly ceremonial song, which involved wiggling your butt and singing with your tongue out. I eye JustBen and JustPatrick and they laugh, with a “welcome to hashing” look.
Abruptly the group dashes off…. or should I say hashes off?
Thank goodness, Flavia bought Ben a headlight because within 5 minutes of the run we were lead into a dark, muddy trail.
I laughed at Ben, ” Ewww, I knew it was a good idea to keep my old running shoes.”
Ben says, “I’m glad you did too”, in a serious voice as we slip in slide in mud.
“Last week a guy wore new running shoes and they made him drink a beer out of his shoe! They hate posers!”Hah, well I hope my Philadelphia Marathon bag doesn’t make me a victim. I wasn’t trying to pose… everything just fits my stuff perfectly. It was secretly stashed in the rickety white van of beer and bags- I should be good, right?
We followed a misleading trail about twice… and got back on target… only to be lead into a longer, darker and muddier trail. I struggled to keep up without slipping. Ben was a little a head but two girls were guiding lights behind me. I would warn them “puddle”, “slippery”, “careful”!
My shoe came untied and I had to stop, but quickly caught up. The trail was incredibly hilly and a bit dangerous. We walked up to the top where we finally reached a street and dashed off again. At this point I had no idea where I was, how many miles we had run- I figured it was a least 2.5 at that point, I had no music to bop to, and I was definitely not used to running with guys. I am not a fast runner. I know that and it’s okay but I was running my heart out like I was running away from an attacker. The adrenaline was pumping and I was sweating. Thank god at least I was getting a work out out of it!
Ben lead the way and there were three girls right on my tail following behind. Ben spots a marker.. “BN”- Beer Near.Thank GOD, I think. Beer is the last thing I wanted though. I just wanted to rest.
We find the rest of the group, laughing and chatting with beers. Ben introduces me to more hashers… I forget their names but they were Justs too. The one guy was the guy who had to drink beer out of his shoe. They asked me if I was enjoying it and said well it’s not over… we are only 3/4 in. Oh Christ…
Ben hands me a cup of beer… ugh at least it’s carbs, I joke. I slowly sip on it while three dudes chug at least three cups (they were small cups but still…I’m not trying to vom)
The last part is the easiest though, Ben reassures me.
We start out together and break apart. Running through alleys, past restaurants, mislead trails, more alleys and restaurants.
A sign for Beer Near uplifts my soul and I hear a “Colleen?” It’s Ben.. how did I get in front of you?
We both cheers with a beer to our 4.7 mile run. Reconnected with some of the people I met early, who congratulated me on finishing my first hash.
I introduce myself to Wax on Whack Off, my brother in laws sister’s friend. (<-that is a mouthful?)
“Wax on Whack Off I’m JustColleen… You know Heave Ho?
“Yes!”
I never thought I would actually meet him, when Pat texted me that Megan’s friend is a hasher too. There were 60+ people… small world
The management staff then made us form a circle and chug a beer in some park near Dupont.The ceremonies continued with the naming of hashers who completed their 10+ runs.
It started to get a little bit long and cold. More singing and chanting to close the hash.
Ben and I opted out of going to the bar. It was already about 10 o’clock and we were far from Atown.
Sleep was calling.
Nontheless, I was entertained.